February 2012
6 posts
Depression
We come from the same problems, to bad we couldn’t solve them. Dissolve into me.
at least the monster is a good creative outlet.
The Monster
Probation
I got to see him
today. Austin S, you’re still the lover i’ve missed. Micheal M is back in town now, so you might have some competition…he’ll never amount to what you mean to me though. He is just another one of those void fillers. Atleast he can provide me with the monster…i need to feed. the monster in me needs to feed. i will let it chow down for a little while just to get it out...
January 2012
13 posts
So low
solo.
i miss them both. mostly Cooper for some reason. The monster wants to feed again. How nice it would be to indulge.
Went to France
last night with Keith and Chris. Saw the Eiffel tower. That was new, interesting, kind of awk-sauce, but worth it to say that I’ve been there done that. What’s next?
Court
date is today. I want to put him in jail so badly. To bad he appologized for hitting me and that my mother loves him more than she obviously loves her own kids safety. Damn. Court again Feb. 13th for grand theft auto…well, dropped to joy riding…that was stupid of me to even consider so I deserve what I get out of that, hopefully not jail time.
I am just a
manic-bipolar-schizo-adhd girl who is crazy in love with a boy named Austin. Shoot me in the face. Please.
Rednecks
Aren’t to shabby. It’s nice to have a few rebel flag, camo wearing, dip-spitting, gun shooting, good ol’ boys on my side. New found friends in all there faded glory. UHMERICA.
Waiting tables again. Thank god for more hours. A second job is needed in order to expedite moving out. Soon enough, soon enough. Just twiddling my thumbs at this point. I need my car back. My wings have...
Ownership
has been my priority lately.
New phone, bought and continually paid for by me.
Car insurance and gas, covered by me.
No rent to worry about.
Food and cigarettes, paid in full by me.
Life is good. Life is great. Keep the money train rolling.
I had to disconnect
to reconnect. Tumblr, I’m back and full of vengance. You have missed so much of my rants and ramblings therefore I have decided to give you a second chance. Posts soon to follow. Follow me.
November 2010
3 posts
Sometimes I wonder
What the hell am i thinking. or maybe it’s just a lapse of judgment. or maybe it’s what i truly want. or maybe it’s something i know i can’t/shouldn’t have, so i test my limits and hope for the best.
three cheers for being young.
p.s. i hate how reliant i’ve become towards getting on the internet.
for school
for friends
for my future
can’t anything...
I am
a social savant that doesn’t know what she wants.
Problems are
Like pimples. The bigger they get the more you want to pick at them.
i’m lost in my own thoughts these days.
trying to figure out who i am.
what i need.
what i want.
where and with whom i belong.
i’m a: skeptic-empiricist-existentialist?
i’m a: teenage girl-old soul-with too many hobbies?
i want to: travel the world-not get married before 25-and be honest with myself and...
October 2010
4 posts
“For some reason, I lust deeply for thee tonight.”
– anonymous ‘cowboy’
SEX.
I don’t like being left alone
In this empty spacious home
It gives me far to much time to think
About how I feel so out of sync
I eat and eat and feel so fat
I think of things I’ll always lack
And on the verge of a panic attack
I call you to console
How I’m not growing up but growing old
My poor mother’s fragile soul
I’m paying dues and becoming rude
...
For the Sake of Art
You have to step outside that comfort zone, right?
like going clothing shopping with some gent that looks old enough to be your dad and yet still remarking, ‘Your chest would look GREAT in this’ or ‘Your legs are perfect for that’ well knowing that you must maintain some level of dignity in these pictures. no nudes.
Sunday will be my second unofficial photo-shoot with...
September 2010
13 posts
Pre-chewed street gum
I own at least 20 threadless tees
and some of my favorite quotes are from shows you’ll never see
i like retro things on my necklace
and i have an undecided sexual preferance
and i like my clothes to fit extra fucking tight
and you won’t see me stand up and be second in a fight
i won’t be the first to dance around at any shows
i won’t talk to you in person but...
Circles and Squares
You could use a shave, and i could use you
There’s no peg hole place for my virtues
3 steps forward and 5 steps back, anxiety and panic attacks
my remedies are herbal, but it keeps me running in circles
we’ll be running in circles all damn day
I want to covet and keep you all to my own
I’ll be the first to cast stones
And i’ll thank all the people who’s toes...
Melancholy
Some of us fear beginnings while most of us fear the end And even the prettiest skirts have the darkest secrets. Two steps forwards three steps back. I feel like I’m walking in circles backwards more and more these days. I’m sorry god, but I fucked up, and I still have yet to find my faith. Or maybe I’m searching to deep. I haven’t really given it my all but I couldn’t...
The only thing i'd ever think to pray for
would be the ability to have some sort of faith. faith in something, anything, just faith. faith in a omnipotent being, faith in myself, faith in humanity, faith in nature, faith in a pre or after life, i’d even take faith in nothing. why was I out of all people given this ability to over analyze the worst of thought provoking subject matter and not given an adequate ability to express or...
my crooked smile
trails for miles and miles
and i’m getting wild hairs again.
i think i might be getting my lip pierced, just because.
August 2010
8 posts
Good by Summer of 2010
barren places where familiar faces always used to roam
leave no trace start a new pace and figure out where is home.
volstate this semester…new adventure somewhere else next semester….
bring it on life. i think this time i’m ready.
Mixed emotions.
She’s not the type to bring home to mom but give her half a chance
She’ll learn how to sing your songs and even dance your dance.
Her hair is untamed and so is she,
And she was born caged to this world, meant to be free.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all she wants is for you to hold her
and reassure that things will be fine, that everything takes a little time.
...
SIMPLE.Break Down For Next Summer's endeavours...
*First off i must accomodate:
1) an ENO (double nest hammock roughly 80$)
2) a decent cross terrain bike
3) a digital camera…preferably waterproof
4) a fresh moleskin
5) a states map so i can circle and mark up everywhere i’ve gone
(and pray that my car is in ample working condition)
*Then i must save up 75$ a week for 26.6 weeks…or roughly 6.5 months
*once i have...
I want to climb in the Appalachians.
it took the reconnection of an unforeseen friendship to rekindle my want to find beauty, freedom, and life.
SKUM FUCK.
Waking Up to Anti-freeze Eyes.
Good ol’ Nashville summer nights, I’m feeling fine i feel alright, just wishing you’d come back around this way.
I’ll miss you friend till the very end, blood brothers see what we pretend, our dreams are trying to run out on us.
I want to dance and go around I want to leave this goddamn town that keeps my feet shackled to one place.
I want...
July 2010
19 posts
Father Rapers
Who would have thought that i’d ever cross paths with Brody K.
a friend of adam’s from way back when (roughly 6th grade), and i met up to spark a potentially beautiful rekindling of a friendship.
and who knew he’d known all the people that i do…and could play the HELL outta some flatpicking gee-tar.
oh the beauty of facebook and it’s magical reconnecting powers.
...
still in cahoots...
coconut breasts, put me to the test.
fresh licked beer off a bare chest
don’t care what i ingest
sweet child you’ve done your best
lay these broken bones and bodies to rest
(ohhhhh)
cinder and smoke, hey friend spare a toke
sink or swim or stay afloat
head held high and still i choke
your speaking rights have been revoked
you don’t know how to take this joke.
(ohhhh)
...